Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
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If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
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Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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