You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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