If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
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