She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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