I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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