sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize