Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize