Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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