i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize