Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
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So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
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I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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