U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
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