Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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