Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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