I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
pop tarts are not kleenex
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize