And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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