If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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