I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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