Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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