my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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