Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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