If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Pants are for mortals
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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