we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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