she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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