There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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