even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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