If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Farmville is her only friend.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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