So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
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You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
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I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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