Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
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i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
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If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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