I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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