i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
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Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
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i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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