OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize