you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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