Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize