dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a little drunk in my system
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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