too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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