You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize