The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize