Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize