3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize