Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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