I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
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We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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