What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
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She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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