hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
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If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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