Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
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He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
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Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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