I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize