hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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