There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize