he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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