i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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