She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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